


tell your friends it was nice to meet them (but i hope i never see them again)

by mercutia



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, Gen, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercutia/pseuds/mercutia
Summary: “Yeah. All we did was smoke --” he began counting on his fingers “-- and drink and play corn hole while the brothers talked to the pledges they already knew. The only person to approach me was some lanky dude who flounced around like he thought he was royalty.” Ling… something. Ed couldn’t remember. A Natty Light on its own wouldn’t do too much damage, but his memory of the various Rho Omicron Upsilon brothers was a bit hazy after the fifth beer or so.(Or: Ed rushes Ling's fraternity.)
Relationships: Edward Elric/Ling Yao
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	tell your friends it was nice to meet them (but i hope i never see them again)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Closer by the Chainsmokers (a.k.a. the classic party song of my college days).
> 
> Chapter titles will be names of drinking games (if only to make the fortyhands joke).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is deeply unfortunate that I will forever and always go hard for a great fraternity AU. I expand in the endnotes. 
> 
> CONTENT WARNING: underage drinking, binge-drinking, discussion of parental death, and smoking (cigars and marijuana)

“Ugh, _bro_.”

Edward collapsed into the dorm bed behind his brother and replied into the comforter, “What?”

“You smell like… like cigarettes! And…,” the younger Elric brother trailed off, crinkling his scarred nose just slightly at whatever the second unidentifiable smell was. 

“Cigars, actually. And probably whatever was in that drink that this _bastard_ spilled on me.” Ed sighed as he flipped over. “Fraternity rush is whack.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. All we did was smoke --” he began counting on his fingers “-- and drink and play corn hole while the brothers talked to the pledges they already knew. The only person to approach me was some lanky dude who flounced around like he thought he was royalty.” Ling… something. Ed couldn’t remember. A Natty Light on its own wouldn’t do too much damage, but his memory of the various Rho Omicron Upsilon brothers was a bit hazy after the fifth beer or so. 

Alphonse rolled back from his desk and shifted in his chair to tilt his head at his brother. “Why are you even pledging a frat if you don’t like it?” 

_Why?_ “Al, are you kidding? You and Winry are always going on _and on_ about how I need to do something other than study and work. Hey, look! I’m doing something other than stu -” 

Winry slamming the door open interrupted what was setting up to be a lengthy vindication. “We meant join a student organization that you’d actually be interested in, idiot. Do you know how much your voice carries? I could hear you halfway down the hall.”

Anyone else would have raised an eyebrow at the way that Ed immediately sat up and straightened his posture upon Winry’s arrival, but Alphonse knew it was out of respect. Or more likely in preparation for a fight. 

“Probably a habit I picked up from trying to compete with your shrill voice,” Ed muttered. “Every student organization that I’d be interested in has to do with my studies which you guys vetoed. Can you imagine me doing, I don’t know, fucking improv club?”

“Well,” Alphonse paused for effect, “you would have to be funny.” He received a half-assed scowl in return. 

“I’m hilarious. Forcing myself through rush is my best joke yet.” 

Winry sighed and rolled her eyes at him. “Are you seriously going to keep attending events that you hate this much?” 

“Absolutely,” Ed said with certainty. “Do you even know me? I don’t give up on something once I’ve started. Plus it’s only a week, and I don’t mind being given free beer.” He wouldn’t return to every chapter; the “top tier” fraternities interested him even less than the others based on reputation and the unsavory classmates of his that were brothers. If he were to be honest with Alphonse and Winry, Ed might even admit that he was a bit hopeful about being invited to Rho Omicron Upsilon’s _exclusive_ events later in the week. Sure, he still had to change his shirt and hope the beer wouldn’t stain, and the cigars left a nasty taste in his mouth, but the brothers he actually talked to were… interesting to say the least. Perhaps Alphonse and Winry had a point about getting his head out of his books now and again. 

* * *

Ed didn’t recognize the music that was pounding through the basement of the Rho Omicron Upsilon house. For all of his complaints to his brother -- his _actual_ brother -- in the last week, this was the first time that Ed genuinely regretted choosing to attend a rush event. None of the Rho Zeta girls that were filtering past him were recognizable from his classes (at least not with alien makeup done per the party’s “Out of This World” theme), and, of the brothers that Ed had connected with, not one could be found. He tried to school his expression in order to not seem like the unapproachable wallflower he is. Maybe he could get in on the next game of beer pong. 

He pushed himself off the wall to find the table, immediately bumping into a tall familiar face. “Shit, sorry.”

Ling grinned at him, still holding the two cups he’d been carrying above Ed’s head, having just saved them both from being drenched. “Edward! I was wondering where you’d gone!” 

Raising an eyebrow at the slight slur in Ling’s words, Ed gently took the cup Ling offered to him. “I’ve been here all night. You’re the one that disappeared. Which sister?” 

“Sister?” Ling questioned with a tilt of his head before his eyes widened in realization. “Oh! Oh, no. Please. I wasn’t hooking up with a Zete. Jean’s mother sent him a care package today, and I was trying to get in on the cookies in the kitchen before everyone else realized they were there.” 

“Ah, so you were mooching as usual,” Ed said with a soft smile. 

“So much judgment! I was simply taking advantage of a situation to benefit my well-being.” 

Ed snorted in response. “Sure, Ling.”

“Hey, do you want to be my partner for beer pong?!” Ling was acting like more of a golden retriever than usual tonight; Ed wondered how much he’d had to drink. 

“Are you sober enough to be any good?” 

“Edward Elric! You are speaking to the _reigning_ pong champion of Rho O. I mean, typically Lan Fan is my teammate which may have something to do with that…” Ling spoke often of Lan Fan. She wasn’t in any sorority that held regular parties with Rho Omicron Upsilon, but she was an honorary brother of sorts. Ed had met her at one of the events this week when she was talking to Ling. The two seemed to be connected at the hip, though it was hard to tell whether the friendship hid anything deeper. 

Ed ignored the strange twinge in his gut that the thought gave him. 

“Oh. Wait. Hey…” Ling interrupted his self-congratulatory speech on his beer pong skills and turned very soberly to Ed. “Do you - do you not want to play because of the prosthetic? I don’t mean to be forward, I just - I have been curious. We don’t have to play pong. There’s actua-” 

Ed thought it best to cut him off before Ling managed to stick his foot in his mouth and fall out of Ed’s hard-to-reach good graces. “I can play beer pong, Ling. It’s a well-made prosthetic, and I’ve learned how to do a lot of things left-handed. I’ve had six years to adjust.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest that you couldn’t -” 

Ed grunted, “I know, Ling.” 

“What - Can I ask how it happened?” Ling was not looking at him pityingly when he asked, which was unusual enough that Ed could appreciate it. The fraternity brother was clearly brave from the booze, and Ling could be an irritant, but he wasn’t disrespectful. 

Taking a deep breath, Ed began, clinical in tone. “It was a car accident. I… My mother had taken my brother, Alphonse, and I camping. It was about a month after our father left, and she was trying to cheer us up. But…” He took a large gulp of incredibly-strong jungle juice. The telling did get easier over time. Just not by much. Ling waited silently. 

“My mom passed out at the campsite. Al and I were just kids, and we waited for her to wake up, but enough time passed that we were desperate. I figured, hey, I’ve driven the lawn mower at home. The car can’t be that different. I just needed to get us close enough to a park ranger station, and we could get help from there. So… Al helped me get Mom into the backseat, he climbed into the passenger side, and I got behind the wheel.” 

Ed went quiet for a long moment, again sipping at his drink. He could tell that Ling was torn between speaking - probably to tell Ed that he doesn’t have to share - and allowing Ed to gather himself and continue. Ed chose the latter for him. 

“I made it safely most of the way until a deer jumped out in front of the car. Drove us right into a boulder pile. I lost my arm and my leg. Al… Al’s entire face is scarred, and he can’t move from the waist down. We both would be dead if the park ranger didn’t see the smoke rising.”

Ling’s voice was nearly a whisper, barely audible over the pulsing bass. “Your mother?” 

“She didn’t make it,” Ed said into his cup, nearly empty of its contents. “My neighbor’s grandmother took us in. Y’know, I begged her to tell me the autopsy results, to know whether whatever made my mother collapse is what killed her or if it was... me? She refused to tell me. I’ll never know if I killed my mother or only did permanent damage to my brother’s spinal cord.”

“Edward… You were trying to save them. I’m…” For once in his life, Ling was - almost - speechless. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry that I asked.” They both glanced around at the party still raging around them. The music was Drake now, Ed thought. 

“Yeah, well.” He paused to knock back the last of the Everclear-Four Loko-whatever concoction. “Makes a good college admissions essay apparently.” 

Ed allowed himself a genuine snort at the line, and Ling forced a smile in return. When Ed shared what had happened to him and his brother, rare as that was, people usually had a harder time reading his emotions. The alcohol in his system had made him morose. It didn’t matter that the older Elric brother had had years to process the events of that day; he would never not blame himself. The very least that Ed could do was study as hard as he could and hope that one day he’d be able to pay Pinako back for every medical bill she selflessly covered for the two boys.

He looked up to see Ling biting his bottom lip and staring across the basement, deep in thought. Ed nudged him. “So… pong?” 

Ling flashed a genuine smile at him. “ _Reigning_ champion! Master of the ten cups!” 

* * *

“Master of the ten cups, huh?” 

“I think I may have had too much to drink tonight,” Ling groaned out, eyes closed against the porch lights. He was curled into himself in the lawn chair and holding his stomach suspiciously. Ed nudged -- poked, really -- his temple with the cold water bottle he had brought from inside. A strand of dark hair fell in front of his face, and Ed watched as it danced in the slow breeze of the evening.

“You would think a master of the ten cups would at least get _half_. Does Lan Fan normally carry your team as much as I did?” Ed briefly wondered where she was.

His smug smile was met with a glare through one eye. “I was close to half.” 

“You got two cups.” 

“That’s twenty percent,” Ling objected. “That’s forty percent of half. Which is almost fifty percent.” 

Ed simply hummed in response to Ling’s questionable math. He gave the drunk international studies major a pass this once. Half of the enjoyment of spending time with Ling was that the other boy would give him just as much shit as Ed dished out, but, as much as Ed would deny it, a genuine fondness had blossomed within the cynic. Sure, Ling’s jokes were bad, and he had pretty much constantly been stealing bites off of Ed’s plate at the brothers’ dinner (despite having his own in front of him); it left Ed feeling lighter than he had in awhile, allowing him to forget that it was unconfronted trauma steering everything else in his life. 

A girl leaving a dorm nearby with her group of friends screeched and then laughed, cutting through the strange serenity of the night; would that be a regular occurrence when -- if -- he lived in the house? “So…” Ed began, surprised at the thought. “Tomorrow is bid day.” 

“ _No!_ Do not take advantage of my state, Elric!” Ling shot up straight in the chair, pointing his finger directly at Ed’s face. “You know that I cannot tell you anything. I will not be punished for bid-promising to the pledges!”

“Didn’t you say you aren’t allowed to say ‘pledges?’ Aren’t I a new member?” Ed intentionally refrained from making eye contact. Ling’s stare was piercing. 

“Only the sororities aren’t allowed to say it. And you aren’t a new member until tomorrow at --” Ling cut himself off, and Ed whipped his head to look at him in time to see the brother widening his eyes at the reveal.

“ _Ha!_ ”

“No. Nope. I didn’t say anything that wouldn’t be true for any -- for _any_ potential new members, of which you know you are one. Yep,” he spoke quickly, appearing quite sober all of a sudden. A pause. “Actually… that is true. The brothers have to meet one last time to make our final decisions.” 

Ed raised an eyebrow. “Tonight? When everyone’s drunk out of their minds?” 

“Rho O makes our best decisions like that,” Ling said as though it was the most sensible thing the world. “Uh, the bar is rather low, I suppose.” 

They both chuckled before falling into silence. Ed looked up, trying to find any constellations that he could recognize. Triangulum was partially hidden behind an accumulation of clouds, but the brightest tip could be seen. He wondered if Alphonse had taken the time to get behind his telescope tonight. Ed hoped so. 

The image of his brother recording the celestial bodies’ movements was interrupted by the sound of Ling clearing his throat. It felt uncharacteristically serious. “Um, really, though. I don’t… I don’t want to falsely get your hopes up. I can’t guarantee anything. I want to think that you know I will advocate for you, but it isn’t just up to me.” 

Ed’s gaze didn’t move from the sky, but he tucked his hands into the pockets of his red hoodie. “Yeah. Of course.”

He felt Ling’s stare on him, unable to tell if it was real or imagined. Ed’s eyes stayed on the sky, and he tried to apply Ling’s advice about wishful thinking to the other feeling stirring in his gut. That one had much less to do with Rho Omicron Upsilon and much more to do with the lanky drunk fool sitting in a ratty old lawn chair beside him. 

* * *

It was _moronic_. Ed hadn’t even wanted to join one of the fraternity chapters in the first place; it was supposed to be one week of shitty events that he could point to in order to prove to Winry and Alphonse that he had made an attempt at finding something beyond his academic career to care about.

 _Well, you did find something else to care about_. He cursed his own brain. 

The lunch hour had come and passed without a knock on Ed’s door. No dorky fraternity members in suits had arrived with a bid card to offer him a coveted spot in the brotherhood of Rho Omicron Upsilon. He hadn’t been accepted to the stupid, shitty frat that he hadn’t wanted to be part of and rushed as a _joke_. 

Except something had clearly changed, and nobody was laughing. Winry maybe, but, no, she wouldn’t be that cruel if she knew how Ed felt. The loyalty in him was duking it out with the stubborn part of his brain over whether or not he should tell Winry and Alphonse that they were right about extracurriculars at Central University being a ‘worthwhile pursuit.’ 

Damn them both. Damn himself. Damn _Ling_ for being bold enough to start a conversation with the scowling blond nursing a beer at the edge of the yard.

Had Ling known last night? That Ed wouldn’t be receiving a bid? Is that why he had shifted into the out-of-character seriousness that tipsy Ed was foolishly charmed by? Oh, _yes_ , Ed. The fraternity brother who got too drunk playing _beer pong_ has _layers_. Whatever. 

Ed’s hand itched towards his phone where it was charging on the corner of his dorm room desk. If he asked Ling, would Ling be honest? Did Ed _want_ to know the honest answer? _I cannot believe I am being like this over a glorified drinking club_ , he thought, finally giving into the urge and grabbing his phone. 

A text from an unknown number was waiting for him when the lock screen lit up. **_i’m sorry, dude. :( i promise that i vouched for u._ **

Ed didn’t have to ask, but he did. **_Who is this?_ **

**_ling!!_ **

**_lan fan got me ur number_ **

**_this is ed rite?_ **

Ed squinted at his phone. He’d gotten one answer he expected, and a second that confused him. Not once had he spoken to Lan Fan nor did he know anybody (other than Ling) who ran in her circles. Perhaps Winry would know; he made a mental note to ask her later, shelving the ever-increasing curiosity he had about the mysterious Lan Fan. 

**_Yeah_** , he typed, **_This is Ed. Don’t worry about it. I understand._** A bold-faced lie but whatever hypothetical anger he had been directing at Ling vanished. As he had said last night, the decision wasn’t just up to him. For a brief moment Ed regretted that he hadn’t spoken much to any of the other brothers before remembering how miserable those attempts at conversation had been. With that math ( _one brother, one vote!_ ), he wondered how long he would have lasted in the chapter before giving up; Winry’s grumblings about how the Greek system upheld misogynistic philosophies would age well. 

His thoughts were interrupted by another vibration from his phone. **_do u want to hang out 2nite?_ **

**_Don’t you have responsibilities with the newbies?_ **

**_yea. but i can get out of it._ **Ed pointedly ignored the wave that passed through his stomach. 

**_Okay. That sounds nice._ **

**_i’m guessing u wouldn’t want to hang out at the house so i can come to u. or wherever. i need to meet al!_ ** The thought made him smile; after all that Alphonse had heard about Ling, Ed wondered what his younger brother would even think. As Winry and Alphonse needlessly pointed out, Ed wasn’t exactly one for casual acquaintances, and Ling is far from the person who would come to mind as his first choice for a friend. Especially considering that all Alphonse knew of Ling was that he was the flouncy bastard who got wasted enough to spill beer on people at 2 PM. _Buzz_ . **_do u mind if i bring lan fan?_ **

Ed frowned as he typed, one-handed. **_We can hang out here. Al and I share a room. Lan Fan is totally welcome!_ **

He groaned at the message and backspaced. Did Lan Fan deserve a “totally”? Would Ling remember that Ed shared a room with his brother? His left thumb flew across the screen as he settled on: **_Al would be fine if we all hang out at our place. Lan Fan, too!_ **

The exclamation point mocked him. 

Ed checked the time to make sure her class hadn’t started yet and dialed Winry. After two rings, her chipper voice came out through the speaker, “Hey!”

“Do you want to come over tonight?” Ed asked all in one rush.

There was a brief pause before Winry began her question, treading cautiously. “Do you… not have a fraternity thing?” 

She knew that he would have found out by now whether or not he was accepted; it was Winry’s kind way of indirectly asking if he had received a bid. “Uh, no,” Ed said. “But Ling wanted to hang out anyway so I thought…” 

“Oh!” He wondered why she seemed surprised. _Rude_. _I’m a fucking delight to be around_. “Yeah! That sounds great. With Al?”

Ed hummed an affirmative _mhm_. “And Ling is bringing his friend Lan Fan.” 

“Oh, my god, Edward. Are you throwing a _party?_ ” He could hear her giggle softly; if she’d wanted to hide it, she’d have covered the microphone with her hand. For the second time today, Ed was being mocked via cell phone. 

“Shut up. I’ll see you at eight.” He hung up on her, smiling as he did so in spite of himself. Edward Elric was going to throw the _best_ damn five-person dorm room party, and the pledges of Rho Omicron Upsilon would wish they weren’t stuck in a humid basement that permanently smelled of beer.

Beer and... other unknown substances (the origins of which he refused to allow himself to consider).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope someone out there noticed that Rho Omicron Upsilon spells ROY! The sister sorority is Rho Zeta Alpha (RZA).
> 
> GREEK LIFE SOAPBOX:  
> I was a member of a sorority for all three years that it was an option at my college. I absolutely loved it, and so many of those sisters mean the world to me. This fic is fun and light-hearted, but I do hope to capture some of the issues that are pervasive in Greek organizations. Is it a little weird to use Fullmetal Alchemist fic as the critical lens to examine an institution that I've become disillusioned with? Probably.
> 
> In the process of writing this, my undergraduate sisters voted to relinquish our sorority chapter's charter for a number of reasons (discovery that our dues were often donated to politicians, the silence of other on-campus chapters regarding #BlackLivesMatter, the national organization's refusal to lower dues during an international pandemic, and the acknowledgement of the Abolish Greek Life movement's truth that these institutions are inherently racist, classist, sexist, etc.). I'm very proud of my sisters for this decision, and I think it may be subtly apparent that this event influenced the direction the story took.
> 
> At the end of the day, I am still very much a sorority girl. I hope you enjoyed being overwhelmed with details about recruitment processes and the types of events I had the, uhhh, pleasure of attending.
> 
> The dorm room hang-out in the next chapter is more my speed (Greed alert!).


End file.
